


Kintsugi

by Mystic_Shadows



Series: Konagona [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Intrusive Thoughts, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 13,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27906589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Shadows/pseuds/Mystic_Shadows
Summary: The Princesses won. Etheria is free and Prime is gone.But Mermista and Sea Hawk don't feel free.  If Prime is gone, why does he still haunt them?
Relationships: Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra)
Series: Konagona [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043466
Comments: 85
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this work attempts to talk about PTSD and recovering. I'm not an expert. Everything I learned online, from research. If you recognize anything in you, please consult a professional. 
> 
> Tags will be added as we go.
> 
> This is part 2 of Konagona: the first part is Wawahi. For those who haven't read that, a quick summary: Both Mermista and Sea Hawk were chipped. Mermista was tortured physically and mentally and emotionally. Sea Hawk was tortured mentally and emotionally.

Mermista bolts upright, eyes scanning the blurry room. She stops at the dark shape sitting on a chair at her bedroom door and scrambles out of the bed. She runs to the shape, throwing her arms around Sea Hawk, and presses her ear against his chest, listening for his heartbeat.

Sea Hawk lets out a grunt as Mermista runs to him, then sighs as he looks down at her tear-streaked face. He lifts a hand to run through her hair, pauses, then hugs her lightly, around her lower back. He starts humming, as Mermista drifts back to sleep. 

Sea Hawk smiles down at Mermista as she wakes up, yawning. "Hey, dearest. You're sleeping better now. Only one nightmare!" 

Mermista grunts as she pushes herself up into a standing position. She rubbs her eyes and lookes at Sea Hawk, who was about to fall off the chair, his eyes slipping closed. "I gotta stay in the office most of the day. Meet me there or wait here while I get ready?" She already knew what his answer would be, but wanted to check in anyway. 

He shifts in the chair. "I'll wait." He watches her walk into the restroom and yawned, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. He'd stayed up all night, guarding her, although Mermista had told him that he didn't have to. He felt like he had to, so he did. He just wasn't sure how to explain it. 

Mermista steps out, looking radiant as always, the tear tracks washed off, braid falling straight down her back. He stands up, moving the chair and opening the door, and once they got to the office, he scans it, making sure no one was in there. Mermista rolls her eyes as she settles down in her chair, "The palace is protected." She watches him for a minute, nodding when his eyes land in the cot by the wall. "It's for you, if you want. And Butler is outside the door." She shrugs, sighing as she looks at the gigantic pile of papers on the desk. "Up to you, but it looks like it's going to be a long day."

Mermista grabs the first paper, watching Sea Hawk out of the corner of her eye. He hesitates, but eventually settles on the cot, his eyes fixed on the door. Mermista starts humming, quietly, and Sea Hawk drifts off to sleep. She works through the pile, once in awhile stopping to look around the room and check on Sea Hawk. 

Mermista comes across a letter from Bright Moon and groans. She checks--it doesn't have the official seal, so she throws it to the side with the others. Sea Hawk reads them, so she'll probably find out if Glimmer is saying anything important, but she doubts it. 

A whimper disturbs the air and Mermista glances at Sea Hawk, waiting a moment. Another whimper and she stands up, heads to the cot, and calls out to Sea Hawk. "Hey. Wake up. C'mon, wake up." 

He bolts upright, eyes scanning the room and let's out a breath. "It's fine. I'm fine and you're fine." Mermista watches as Sea Hawk calms down and she thinks about reaching out to him, but doesn't. "You slept most of the day. Meet me at the pool." The pool relaxes them both and she wants to try using her powers. 

Mermista turns and walks out, frowning to herself. Sea Hawk has no problem helping her with anything, including calming her down after her nightmares. Why can't she help him? 

Mermista sits down at the edge of the pool, her feet in it. She thinks,  _ ok, just a column of water. Nice and easy. I can do that _ . She reaches out a trembling hand and groans, stopping at the last second.  _ I can't do it. _

"Mermista?" Sea Hawk calls from the door. They'd found out the hard way that sneaking up on Mermista was a bad idea. She nods, waving him over.

He comes sitting next to her, dipping his feet into the pool. He puts an arm around her back, tugging her gently, and she leans against him, tension leaving her shoulders. 


	2. Chapter 2

Sea Hawk crumples up the paper, throwing it to the side. Realizing that Mermista still hasn't left the bathroom yet, he heads to the door. "Misty?" He calls, knocking. He doesn't hear anything aside from the water. "Misty? Mermista!" He knocks harder: they haven't been apart this long since they got back to Salineas. Images of Mermista, laying on the floor, flash through his mind and he goes to open the door. 

He pauses, hand on the doorknob: Mermista hasn't let him into the bathroom with her anymore and, as he thinks about the new scars littering his body, he's sure he knows why. But what if she's hurt?

Mermista opens the door and Sea Hawk almost falls onto her, hugging her tight. "What?" She almost snaps as she pushes him away a bit.

"You were gone so long. I thought you were hurt." Sea Hawk pulls her back.

"It was barely 15 minutes! And I'm pretty sure you would have heard me yell if I'd fallen or something."

Sea Hawk reluctantly releases her from his hug as he feels her getting extremely tense. He returns to his chair as he watches Mermista settle back down and she glances at the paper. "Anything important?" 

"Bow is asking for another boys night out. Seems both Catra and Adora have settled down and Glimmer is still running her kingdom while Micah returns to society." He winces as he watches Mermista dig her nails into the wood desk. 

"Are you...do you want to go?" Mermista tries for casual, even as she thinks about being separated from Sea Hawk for the night. 

Sea Hawk shakes his head. "Not really." _Being seperated from Mermista, where I can't protect her and I was his last choice._ His leg starts bouncing as he absent-mindedly scratches at his hands. "I'd rather spend time with you." 

Mermista smiles, then stands. "Hey, lets go down to the cove. Work off some of the energy." 

Sea Hawk frowns. "You're not supposed to strain yourself, dearest. The cove is at least a 20 minutes walk." He watches her, and catches her hidden wince. "Your back is hurting you again, isn't it?" He's not trying to sound accusing, but she's hiding from him again. 

"That doesn't matter." She knows as she says it that it's the same as admitting it. "I don't want to stay in this room any longer. I don't want to stay in the palace any longer. I need a new sight. Anything else except these walls." 

Sea Hawk opens his mouth, then closes it as he realizes her eyes are darting around the room and she's rocking back and forth.  _ She's feeling trapped again. At least she kinda asked this time. _

"How about to the hidden docks instead? They're closer." He wouldn't mind carrying her, but that tended to set off worse panic attacks. 

Mermista almost growls, but her back pulses and she sighs instead. "Fine. Docks."  _ Just out. Need to get out.  _ **Why are you letting him control what you're doing?** _ I'm not, he's just worried.  _


	3. Chapter 3

Mermista ignores the call from Bright Moon again, and again and on the 5th call picks up. "What?" She growls. 

"Mermista! You have to come to the meeting." Glimmer whines.

"I don't have to do anything, Glitter." Mermista retorts. "I told you, I'm busy!" She wasn't lying, but even if she hadn't been busy, she wasn't going to Bright Moon. 

"Yeah, yeah. Rebuilding Salineas." Glimmer nods. "But we haven't seen you in months! Not since the War ended. You're not picking up calls, you haven't responded to any of my letters. Bow said Sea Hawk isn't responding either." All true, so Mermista doesn't respond. "C'mon! Everybody is going to be there! Mainly catching everyone up, but we could do a sleepover after. Did you know Catra and Scorpia have never had a real sleepover before? Like, they said they had, but what they did was more bunking than actual…"

Mermista tunes Glimmer out as she tries to control the spike of rage. _Of course Catra would be there. They like her or something_. **Glimmer knows you were hurt. She hasn't asked about you at all.**

Mermista interrupts Glimmer. "No. I'm not coming. I'm busy." She hangs up on Glimmer and turns the touchpad off, and takes a minute to breathe deeply. During Glimmers' rant, the image of Mermista forcefully shutting her up had snuck up on her and surprised her. 

"Are you ok, Misty?" Sea Hawk asks from across the room. Mermista shrugs. "Ready for a break?" 

"Can't concentrate now anyway, not after she called. I told her I wasn't going to the meeting." 

Mermista wasn't sure she could be around them, if just Glimmers voice made her angry. 

"Are we... avoiding all the Princesses?" Sea Hawk asks, receiving a shrug in return. He nods and withdraws into his own thoughts. _That means she'll continue to lean on me. I can continue being useful._

The next day, Butler informs her there's guests in the front hall. She stalks down the hallway, and when she sees who's in the hallway, she whirls on Sea Hawk. 

Mermista glares at Sea Hawk. "Why'd you invite them?" She hisses, pointing at the others in the hallway. Sea Hawk looked confused, which confused her. 

"I didn't." He looks at the others, getting close to glaring, his hand hovering where his sword was normally strapped. "I don't know why they're here." _They're not supposed to be here. At all_. He glances down, realizing he doesn't have his sword. _Hopefully, they won't attack._

The clicking distracts Mermista and she scans over the group again. Scorpia is at the back, slouched, claws clicking and Mermista doesn't know if she's angry or not. Scorpia had helped demolish Salineas, her kingdom, her _home_. But at the same time, they'd both been chipped. Could she be having--Mermista shakes her head, "No one has answered yet. What are you doing here?" 

"They said you needed help! So we came to help!" Frosta pushes her way to the front and Mermista groans.

"I don't need help with anything. I don't know why they said that." She squints at Frosta. "Wait. Who's 'they'?" **They think you can't do anything.**

"Well…" 

Spinnerella rests a hand on Frostas' head. "Glimmer mentioned that you might've been a bit overwhelmed with rebuilding Salineas. But we also just came because we wanted to check on you." Netossa and Perfuma nod.

"Talking has been very beneficial for Scorpia and Catra and Spinnerella and we thought you might appreciate the chance as well. Open communication is good." 

"I just really wanted to travel. The advisor took over." Frosta admits. "But if you had needed help, I wanted to help." 

Mermista rolls her eyes. "You're already here. I don't need help, but I'm not going to kick you out. Go do stuff while I finish work." 

She turns and strides out, knowing Sea Hawk is right behind her. Once they're out of sight, Sea Hawk speeds up so he's back in her sight. 

"I'm not talking to them." Mermista tells him. "They came with no warning. No notice."

"I don't like it." Sea Hawk admits. "If it had been an enemy or something, I wasn't prepared. I'm bringing my sword to the talk, if you want to go." 

Mermista makes a face. "That's. People." **Open up to those beneath you?** _I don't like talking about my feelings to anyone._ "And feelings? No." 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw/cw: references mind control, intrusive thoughts.

Mermista stops as she sees that the others are crowded around the door. "I thought you were off doing stuff." 

"We _did_ do stuff. But we want to do stuff _with you_." Frosta says. 

"Oh. Ok. Just give me a minute." Mermistas' heart twists, a mix of surprise and happiness and relief flooding it. She grabs Sea Hawk, stepping to the side. They whisper for a minute, then separate. 

"We can use the guest bedroom to hang and stuff." Mermista shrugs.

  
  


Sea Hawk settles down by the door, his sword resting by the chair. He keeps an eye on the others as they play a game, smirking as Mermista and Frosta fight over the railroad. He tenses as Scorpia walks up, her claws clicking as she settles down in a chair across from him. She stays silent and Sea Hawk wonders. They _had_ connected at the Northern Reach, but that had been over them being treated badly. But they hadn't really talked since then, and then they were chipped. 

Scorpia breaks the silence. "How...how much do you remember? From being…"

Sea Hawk shakes his head. "Not much." Anything he does get comes in flashes and feelings. But he _does_ know that Scorpia was at Seaworthy with them. He remembers fighting her, surrounded by flames and smoke. He also knows that she was Chipped right around then.

He doesn't want to know what she's going to say.

Scorpia nods. "I don't remember much, either. Well, except for the.. " Scorpia glances away, a claw rubbing at her arm and Sea Hawk remembers: _Prime despised magic and valued uniformity._ _And she is a Princess._ Scorpia shakes her head, turning back to Sea Hawk. "I just...wanted you to know that it wasn't you. Well, it _was_ your body, but even though it was your body, it wasn't you, it was Prime. Prime in your body, but not you." Scorpia stops, taking a deep breath. "I should've brought my notes." She looks at Sea Hawk. "While it was your body that Chipped me, it wasn't you doing it. It was Prime, using your body. And I wanted you to know I don't blame you." 

Scorpia goes to leave and Sea Hawk reaches out, then pulls back. "Wait. Umm." He glances at the others, noting that the game was either over or abandoned, with Spinnerella and Netossa talking to Mermista, while Perfuma and Frosta were talking. "We've been a bit... disconnected. How have you been?" Scorpia settles back down, beaming and starts chattering away. He keeps an eye on Mermista as he listens to Scorpia. 

When he sees her hand drift up to her neck while clenching her other hand, he interrupts Scorpia in the middle of her tale about saving Catra from a toaster. "I'm sorry, Scorpia, pick this up later? I need to go do something." Without waiting for a response, he strides over to Mermista. Nodding to Spinnerella and Netossa, he guides Mermista out of the room into her bedroom. 

"Misty, you ok?" He grabs her hands, lowering them and rubbing circles on them. 

She breathes deeply, her eyes closed. "I'm fine. They wanted me to talk about what I did while Chipped. And I told them no." **It seems your friends are ignoring your boundaries.** _They're trying to help, in their way. It's just not my way._ "They did change topics, but it was too much. Did you and Scorpia have a good talk?" 

Sea Hawk nods, then shrugs. "She said I Chipped her, but she didn't blame me because Prime was controlling me." He's silent for a minute. "I liked talking with her." _I didn't realize how much I missed talking with other people._

"I said I wasn't going to talk to them. I never said that you couldn't talk to them." Mermista said. 

Spinnerella sighs as she watches Sea Hawk and Mermista walk away. "I know she said she didn't want to talk about it, but pushing it down isn't going to help." 

Netossa nods, "Yeah, but maybe springing it on her wasn't the best idea." 

Frosta pipes up. "Did you guys see? Her eyes changed during your talk." 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw/cw warning: drowning. References to mind control.

_She's back in the damn tank. She's lucid enough to know she's dreaming, but not enough to do anything in the dream. Mermista hates these types of dreams--they remind her of being Chipped._

_Prime walks in and Sea Hawk follows, one step behind and to the left. Mermista knows this didn't happen, Sea Hawk was released before she'd been moved to the tank._

_And she reminds herself of that fact, even as Sea Hawk jumps into the tank. Whatever is about to happen didn't happen, she reminds herself._

_"Pull him under the water with you." Prime orders, smirking. Her arms move without her telling them to, and she drags Sea Hawk under the water with her. She stares at his green eyes, face blank and misses his shanties and his compliments. A couple of minutes pass and Mermista is grateful that Sea Hawk could hold his breath a long time, because Prime hasn't given her another order and she's having trouble regaining control. At 3 minutes, she's able to release him and glare at Prime, who frowns._

_The water turns green and she starts wheezing for breath._ It's not real. It's not real _. She remembers that on the ship, after a couple of minutes, the water had gone back to blue. But the water stays green._

_As her vision fades to black, she looks, expecting to see Prime smirking. She gasps, falling into blackness as someone else is standing where Prime is supposed to be…._

Her eyes open to the blue ceiling and she takes a minute to just breathe. Mermista can hear Sea Hawk snoring and is surprised he fell asleep while she was asleep, he hasn't done that since they got home.

Mermista stumbles out of bed, heading into the bathroom. Splashing some water on her face, she looks into the mirror and claps a hand over her mouth as she stares into green eyes. She blinks and her eyes turn back to amber, and moving her hand off her mouth, she grips the sink. 

_It's not real. Just an after effect of the dream._ Mermista tries to convince herself. She glances at the mirror one last time, then leaves, running into Sea Hawk. 

"Where were you?" Sea Hawk looks on the edge of tears.

Mermista rolls her eyes. "Just in the bathroom." She glares at him. "What, you think I can't do that by myself?" 

"No, no!" He raises his hands. "I just... you know I don't like being seperate from you.".

"And you know I don't like being crowded. Which you have been doing." Mermista doesn't mean to say it, but it's true. Sea Hawk was an extrovert, and loved being around multiple people while she didn't. She needed alone time and she hasn't had that. 

"But. But you said it was okay when I asked." 

She doesn't remember, but it's possible. "Because I know you need people and I'd promised I was going to try to listen instead of shutting you down." Her head pulses, if they're going to keep talking, this will turn into an actual argument. She heads to her bed, climbing under the covers.

"Mermista. You also said you wouldn't hide from me." 


	6. Chapter 6

Mermista groans as she wakes. Her sleep had been restless, filled with that green she hated. 

"Mermista. We need to talk." 

"About what?" She sits up, a hand going to her neck: her scar isn't hurting today. 

"Last night." He pauses as he looks at her. "Do you remember last night?" 

She freezes, looking at him. He's frowning, and he's still in front of the door, blocking it. She knows he guards the door when she's asleep, but he knows to leave the door unblocked when she's awake. _Why is he blocking the door?_

"Mermista?" 

Mermista shakes herself out of her thoughts. _Last night. Last night was the nightmare of him drowning and my eyes. But I didn't tell him. What else happened_? "I remember going to the bathroom and coming out and running into you, but nothing else." _Maybe we can avoid this conversation._

Sea Hawk crosses his arms, leaning back in his chair. "You said I was crowding you."

"Yeah, and?" 

"Why didn't you tell me, Mermista? You promised you wouldn't hide from me anymore."

Mermista glances at him and regrets it. He's still frowning, but there's tears in his eyes and she'd also made a promise to try not to make Sea Hawk cry. "Yeah, but it's been six months, Sea Hawk! And we've been together almost every minute of it. Which, I mean, I guess it was fine at the beginning, but now, it's just getting too much." She's silent for a minute before adding, "Plus, I know you panic when we're apart." 

"Because every time we were apart, something happens! I was Chipped and we fought, you were Chipped, I was unchipped and we fought. Us being apart leads to bad things." He takes a deep breath. 

"What if we start small? I need alone time, Sea Hawk. And you need people. You said you liked talking with Scorpia, right? Well, they're supposed to be here for another day or two. Go hang out with them for a hour or so." 

"And leave you alone!? You'll get hurt." 

_Wait_. "You think I can't protect myself?" Mermista is glaring now.

"You haven't used your powers since we got home." Sea Hawk says. 

"Because I don't need to! I can use them if I wanted to. I can protect myself, Sea Hawk." _Wait, when did they start arguing_? "I'm not weak, I don't need you protecting me constantly." _That wasn't what she meant to say._

"I like protecting you, Mermista!" _Why are they arguing?_

Her fingers are itching and the image of him under the water rises in her mind. "Go away, Sea Hawk. Go hang with Scorpia and them and leave me alone." 

"But, Mermista…" 

"I said, go away, Sea Hawk." Water from the glass by her bed leaps out, zooming towards Sea Hawk. It misses him, splashing against the wall. He turns to look at it, then back to Mermista. He opens his mouth, closes it, and shaking his head, leaves the room. 

Mermista stares at the water. _She hadn't told it to do that_. Shaking her head, she gets ready for the day. Once in the office, she starts working through the pile that never seems to decrease. 

She takes a break, sighing. "Hey, Sea Hawk. Ready for…" She turns, looking at the empty cot. _Oh yeah, he left._ She grabs food from the kitchen, and goes to the balcony outside the throne room to enjoy the peace and quiet. 

"Hey, Mermista." Mermista turns, expecting Sea Hawk and sees Spinnerella by herself. "Are you able to take a break and talk?" 


	7. Chapter 7

Spinnerella and Mermista sit at the table, a cup of tea in front of Spinnerella and a cup of coffee in front of Mermista. 

"I know you said you don't want to talk about being Chipped, which is fine." Spinnerella gives her a warm smile. "And you don't have to. But I did want to ask if you've talked to anyone about it? Or if there's anything you want to talk about?" A glint appears in her eye. "Even if it's just about your relationship with Sea Hawk. Is he good?" Mermista groans and Spinnerella frowns. "Oh, trouble in paradise?" 

"There's always trouble." Mermista mutters, then sighs as Spinnerella raises an eyebrow. "We fought this morning." Spinnerella gets ready to say something, then decides against it. "Ok, yeah, we used to fight a lot, but this time I don't know what happened! One minute we're talking about Sea Hawk hanging out with Scorpia, the next we're arguing." 

"Was the arguing about him hanging with Scorpia?" 

"No. I  _ told _ him to go. We've barely been apart 5 minutes and I need my alone time."

"Wait, you haven't been apart in 6 months?" 

Mermista shakes her head. "No, at the beginning, we…"  **You're about to reveal too much.** She switches topics. "Do you have nightmares or after-effects?"

Spinnerella frowns, watching her, but nods. "Yeah, I still have nightmares. And there for a few weeks, I didn't like being separated from Netossa."

"How..how'd you get past it?"

"Oh, we made it a competition. Started small, set a timer for a few minutes, whoever lost had to clean the cottage." Spinnerella takes a sip. "The nightmares were...are harder to get over." Mermista glances at her. "I'm assuming you don't remember much?" 

Mermista shakes her head. "Not while Chipped, not really. Mine are more…" Mermista trails off, refusing to meet Spinnerellas' eyes.

Spinnerella waits a moment for Mermista to continue. Realizing Mermista wouldn't, Spinnerella continues talking. "I got Chipped at a party. I don't remember what the party was for, exactly. Some of my nightmares are about that. Sometimes, they're about me fighting Netossa. Others, I…" Spinnerella sighs, closing her eyes. "I  _ did _ help take over multiple villages. Most by force."

Mermista isn't sure how to respond.  _ There's a reason she doesn't do talks or feelings. _ Spinnerella shakes her head. "Most of the time, after I wake up, I talk with Netossa about the dream. Some days I need comforting, others just distractions." Spinnerella looks at Mermista. "You should talk it out with someone. Doesn't matter who, but holding it in isn't good for anyone." 

Mermista looks at Spinnerella and thinks. She'd been taught as a kid to never show weakness. Spinnerella is older than her, though she's unsure by how much, and she's admitting to this like it's not wrong. And, although she'd never tell anyone, there were times Spinnerella reminded her of her mom. 

"Father used to say leaning on others was weak. As a Princ...as a leader, one couldn't show weakness." Mermista says, surprising them both. "But...but it's not, is it?" **Yeah, but you trusted the Alliance to save you and that didn't happen. You can't trust them.** _But talking about the ship could help. Maybe._

"No, but that's what the Alli….what I'm here for, to listen if you want." Spinnerella offers, changing the sentence halfway through when she sees the poorly concealed flinch at the word 'Alliance'.

Mermista runs a hand through her braid, chewing her lip and glancing out the window. They sit in silence for a while, Spinnerella letting her gather her thoughts. "I'm not sure when you were unchipped, but you know I was on Pri...his ship for, I'm not sure how long, before I was Chipped." Mermista glances at her, then looks down at the table. Spinnerella nods, even though Mermista can't see. "He had, well. Umm. Apparently the Chips had been proven defective, so he wanted to, he decided to go about it a different way." Mermista refuses to meet her eyes. "He decided that breaking my spirit before I was Chipped would make it easier."

Spinnerella tries to hold back her gasp. Mermista half-smirks as she glances up, then back down to the table, the smirk falling into a frown. "It, it took a while, but, he..he did almost succeed." 

"Mermista." Spinnerella moves around the table. "Is it ok if I give you a hug? It seems like you need one." 

Mermista breathes out a shaky breath, "Yeah, that'd be nice. Just...just be careful, the...the…" Mermista trails off again, leaning into Spinnerellas' hug. 


	8. Chapter 8

After a few minutes, Mermista pulls away, trying to discreetly wipe her eyes. Spinnerella pretends not to notice, as she moves back to her seat. "Feeling better?" Mermista nods, surprised to find she's actually feeling much better than she has in quite awhile. "I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I still want to ask. Does Sea Hawk know about the ship? Or what happened on it?" 

Mermista shrugs. "We were on it together for awhile. He says he doesn't remember much, but what he does remember is the stuff that...it's mainly our fights against each other." Mermista is silent again, hand running through her braid. "We were separated, on the ship. I'm not entirely sure how long I went without hearing from another being." **You're revealing too much, stop**. _I… don't want to stop._

"Can I ask.." Spinnerella pauses, thinking. "Again, you can tell me as much or as little as you want to." Mermista nods, looking at her. "How did he try to break your spirit? Was it…" Spinnerella trails off, not sure she wants to know the answer, but positive that Mermista had to talk about it. 

Mermista goes to answer, but hesitates. There'd actually been multiple ways and it had honestly piled up. But she'd been able to survive the physical. **No matter what you tell her, she's going to pity you. Not strong enough to overcome it.** "There were a variety of ways, but ummm." She switches topics in the middle. "In the books I read, they always separate the main character from their friends and try to turn them against each other. I'd always thought it was stupid, it wouldn't work in real life." Mermista shrugs, avoiding looking at Spinnerella. 

"It, umm. It works a lot better than I thought it would."

"Oh. He thought that if you didn't care about your friends, or 'proved' that they didn't care about you, you wouldn't fight him when he told you to attack." Spinnerella struggles to not show the horror she's feeling. 

Mermista nods. "I..think so. It, he. He would leave me in the room, alone, for, I guess days. Maybe weeks? Then he'd show a video of, it was normally Glimmer, talking about how you guys couldn't rescue me. And that if the other Princesses had cared, they'd have rescued me already. I...there for awhile, I almost believed him." 

"You know we care, right?" **She could be lying.** Mermista shrugs. "Is that why you don't go to the meetings?" 

Mermista draws back, wrapping her arms around herself. "It's part of it. I've never liked being around a lot of people in general, and after this? It's..it's hard to remember, sometimes. Because I...I'm _used_ to people leaving me behind." Mermista admits, softly. "Sea Hawk is the only one who's never left." 

Spinnerella watches her a minute. "You're a strong person, you know that?" 

Mermista scoffs. "I don't feel strong." _I just dumped so much on you. I shouldn't have._

"And you probably won't. But you're much stronger than you think, because you survived." Spinnerella states. "Is it okay if I suggest some things to maybe help with the having trouble around the Princesses? And is there anything else you want to talk about?" Spinnerella asks.

Mermista thinks about talking about the loneliness on the ship, how she'd wanted to hear Prime, if only to know she wasn't left entirely alone. She thinks about talking about how Prime liked to punish ~~torture~~ her, and his favorite way. About how Prime had shown her visions of what would happen if she didn't submit. But she's already revealed so much.

Mermista shakes her head. "Not today." She's hoping Spinnerella can hear what she's not saying, an invitation to come back, to learn more. "And I guess, but I'm not sure if anything can help. Just listening to Glimmer the other day made me mad."

"So, leave her for last. It's mainly hanging out with a bunch of people at once, right?" Mermista nods. "What if you start small? We can have a dinner: you, me, Netossa and Sea Hawk. You can pick the place and time, and it'll just be us. Then a different night, invite a different Princess. And if you want, I can be there." Spinnerella adds. She's hoping this will help with her own issues as well, she has trouble being outside nowadays. 

"I guess. It sounds ok." Mermista glances outside, noticing that it's afternoon. "But I shouldn't answer for Sea Hawk. I don't even know if he's coming back. I thought he'd be back by now." 

"I'm sure he's ok. He's probably just trying to give you the time you asked for." 

"Yeah, yeah. He'll be back, he probably just got caught up in something. He's always getting into trouble." _Please, Sea Hawk. Come back._


	9. Chapter 9

_He sees Mermista across the way, fighting against the clones. He heads over there, sneaking up behind her. He reaches out and he pulls the bandana tight around her neck._ No, no. Stop. I don't want to do this _. He pulls her closer, avoiding her kicks, and whispers in her ear, "Stop fighting, sweetest. It'll be over soon." Her struggling gets weaker and_

Sea Hawk jolts awake, looking around for Mermista. Unable to find her, he scrambles to his feet. Looking around again, he notices that the bathroom door is closed. He runs to it as it opens and hugs Mermista as she steps out. "Where were you?" 

Mermista rolls her eyes. "Just in the bathroom." She glares at him. "What, you think I can't do that by myself?" 

"No, no!" He raises his hands. "I just... you know I don't like being seperate from you."

"And you know I don't like being crowded. Which you have been doing." 

"But. But you said it was okay when I asked." _I made sure to ask, I know she likes her alone time._

"Because I know you need people and I'd promised I was going to try to listen instead of shutting you down." Mermista heads to her bed, climbing under the covers.

"Mermista. You also said you wouldn't hide from me." _We need to talk, I don't want her thinking she needs to hide. Not from me. She promised she'd tell me stuff._

Sea Hawk waits until Mermista groans as she wakes up. He doesn't move from in front of the door as he says, "Mermista. We need to talk." _I don't want her running from me._

"About what?" She sits up.

"Last night." He pauses as he looks at her. "Do you remember last night?" 

She freezes, looking at him. 

"Mermista?" 

"I remember going to the bathroom and coming out and running into you, but nothing else." 

Sea Hawk crosses his arms, leaning back in his chair. "You said I was crowding you."

"Yeah, and?" 

"Why didn't you tell me, Mermista? You promised you wouldn't hide from me anymore."

"Yeah, but it's been six months, Sea Hawk! And we've been together almost every minute of it. Which, I mean, I guess it was fine at the beginning, but now, it's just getting too much." She's silent for a minute before adding, "Plus, I know you panic when we're apart." 

"Because every time we were apart, something happens! I was Chipped and we fought, you were Chipped, I was unchipped and we fought. Us being apart leads to bad things." He takes a deep breath. _What'll happen next time?_

"What if we start small? I need alone time, Sea Hawk. And you need people. You said you liked talking with Scorpia, right? Well, they're supposed to be here for another day or two. Go hang out with them for a hour or so." 

"And leave you alone!? You'll get hurt." 

"You think I can't protect myself?" Mermista is glaring at him.

"You haven't used your powers since we got home." Sea Hawk says. _I just want you to be okay_.

"Because I don't need to! I can use them if I wanted to. I can protect myself, Sea Hawk. I'm not weak, I don't need you protecting me constantly." 

"I like protecting you, Mermista!" _I need to stay useful. And if I'm with you, I can't fail you again._

"Go away, Sea Hawk. Go hang with Scorpia and them and leave me alone." 

"But, Mermista…" _What? Why are you sending me away?_

"I said, go away, Sea Hawk." Water from the glass by her bed leaps out, zooming towards Sea Hawk. It misses him, splashing against the wall. He turns to look at it, then back to Mermista. He opens his mouth, closes it, and shaking his head, leaves the room. 

He walks down the sidewalk, frowning. It had been a long time since Mermista, under her own power, had used her powers against him, even longer since she'd told him to go away. Primes' voice rings in his head. **She'll attack you**. _She didn't mean it. I'll just give her some time to cool down._


	10. Chapter 10

He runs into Scorpia, and remembering Mermistas' suggestion/order, he asks, "Hey, Scorpia. Mind if I join you today?"

"Sure thing, buddy! Perfuma and Netossa and Frosta are off, oh gosh. I know they told me what they were going to do. But I just can't remember. They invited me, but claws, y'know." She holds her claws up and shakes them a bit. "And I kinda wanted to go back to Seaworthy and sing again. Y'know, replace the bad with the good?" 

"Oh yes. And you had a marvelous voice, Scorpia. Let us be off! To Seaworthy!" _Maybe a distraction will help._

They arrive there, spending the next few hours drinking and singing Karaoke. They stumble out, helped by the bouncer, and giggle as they collapse in the sidewalk.

"Hey, hey. I've got an idea, Scorpia. C'mon!" Sea Hawk beckons Scorpia to follow him as he heads towards the dock. They find Dragons Daughter VIII and climb on. Sea Hawk climbs up to the top of the crowd nest and carefully walks out onto the rope. "Look, Scorpia!" He starts dancing and stops as he sees someone board the ship. "Oh! We've got company!" 

"We do? Where?" Scorpia looks around, falling unconscious as she's hit on the head. 

"Hey! That wasn't very sporting of you!" Sea Hawk yells down. 

"Oh? Then maybe you should come down here and we'll show you how sporting we can be." The man replies. 

Sea Hawk makes his way down, falling the last few feet. He gets to his feet, trying to draw his sword. "Get him, boys." The man barks out. Before Sea Hawk is able to react, he's hit across the head, falling unconscious.

He wakes up to Scorpia talking. "Sea Hawk. Sea Hawk, wake up, c'mon! Do you know what Mermista would do to me if you don't? I mean, I'm not entirely sure, she's avoided, well, basically everyone, but I definitely don't want to know what she'd do if her boyfriend got killed while out with me." He groans. "Oh good, you're awake! Good, that's good."

He groans again, taking stock of his body. His head is pounding, although he's not sure if that's because of the alcohol or the hit. He can feel rope digging into his wrists and his arms and his chest. His arms are behind him and he can feel wood against his back, so he must be tied to the crows nest.

Glancing at Scorpia, he's a little surprised to see that she's chained, almost everywhere. Chains are around her claws, keeping them closed, then chained together. There's what looks like a cork covering her tail, and he thinks that the men might've been more prepared than he thought. "Sea Hawk? Are you ok?" Scorpia looks worried.

"I'm fine. Just a little out of sorts. You?" He's trying to think of a way out, he _knew_ he shouldn't have left Mermista. _But she's not the one in trouble, it's you. How can you protect her if you keep getting kidnapped?_ **They won't keep you around unless you can be useful.**

"So. Uh. Do you think Mermista and them will rescue us? Cuz I have a date with Perfuma tonight and I don't really want to miss it." 

"We can rescue ourselves." Sea Hawk looks around to see if there's anything he could use. "Besides, we...we argued this morning and I'm not sure Mermista will miss me."

"What?! Of course she'll miss you, what're you talking about? I mean, ok, yeah, she does act growly and stuff, but I doubt she means it!" 

"Plus, I don't want her thinking I'm not...that I can't take care of myself. She worries so much about everything else and I don't want to add another one."


	11. Chapter 11

Sea Hawk eyes Scorpias' claws. They might be able to rub through the rope. Just as he gets started, the leader of the men shows up in front of them. "Ah, you're awake. Good."

"Oh, is this the monologuing part?" Sea Hawk can feel Scorpia try to continue to rub the rope. "The bit where you tell me what dastardly, devious thing you're going to do to us and I heroically rebuff it."

The man chuckles. "Well. You don't seem very heroic tied up like that." 

"That's because you got the drop on me! Plus, how else could I enact my devious plan?" 

"Hmmm. In that case, it might be better just for me not to tell you what I'm going to do. Can't stop what you don't know, can you, pirate?" Sea Hawk doesn't respond, the rope is already feeling looser. "But, there's no reason for me to not tell you why I'm doing this." _Oh no,_ Sea Hawk thinks, feeling dread creep up on him. "You burned my town down. And you, Horde, you actually didn't do anything to me."

"Oh, in that case, I feel like you should let me go." 

The man shakes his head. "No, no. No can do. You see, while you didn't do anything to me, there's plenty of people who feel you've wronged them. And they have things they want to... discuss with you. And they're willing to pay." 

The rope breaks and Sea Hawk leaps at the man, punching him. The man, surprised, falls backwards, head cracking against the deck. Sea Hawk glances around, he vaguely remembers there being more people. Not seeing anyone, he turns his attention to trying to unchain Scorpia. He succeeds just as Scorpia yells, "watch out!" 

He avoids the two men, as Scorpia finishes untangling herself. She attacks one man and Sea Hawk finishes taking out the other. They tie the three men together and go to dump them on the docks, only to find out that the docks are nowhere in sight. 

"Well, it looks like you might be a little late for your date, Scorpia. But I'll get us back as fast as I can." 

"That's fine." Scorpia waits a moment. "So, Sea Hawk. What was that about?" 

"What was what?" Sea Hawk hadn't meant to say the stuff about Mermista: he knew she'd miss him eventually, she always did.

Scorpia notices Sea Hawk looking everywhere except at her as they sail back. "The stuff about Mermista not missing you." She lets a little steel into her voice. "I _know_ you _know_ Mermista would miss you. So why are you thinking differently?" 

Sea Hawk shakes his head. "It would take awhile to explain." 

Scorpia gestures with her claw. "We've got the time."

Sea Hawk runs a hand through his hair, sighing as he shifts from side to side. He'd be flicking his lighter if those men hadn't taken it from him. "Mermista is strong. She had to be, to take over the kingdom young." Scorpia nods, not entirely sure where he's going with this. "And power wise, she's really strong. And she knows that. And I know that. And we made a rule. One of our hard rules, actually." He's silent for a minute. "We used to always argue. About a lot of things, but because her power is connected, influenced by her emotions, the rule was: if we're arguing, actual arguing, she can't use her powers against me. We both agreed on the rule."

Scorpia goes to point out that she remembers Mermista using her powers against him, but pauses. She's not sure when that was, during the Chipped time or not. She's also not entirely sure where this is going, but if Sea Hawk needs an ear, she was going to listen.

"If we were play-arguing or bantering or whatever, it was fine. Because she's calm enough not to make it too strong for me to handle. But. But we argued this morning and she almost used them against me, which brought up...thoughts that _he_ said from when I was Chipped." 

"I thought you didn't remember what happened while you were Chipped." Scorpia says, a little confused. She barely remembers anything, but she's not sure why. She thinks it might be because she's more used to being ordered around, someone else had always made decisions for her.


	12. Chapter 12

It wasn't that Sea Hawk was lying when he said he didn't remember being Chipped. He wasn't, not really. Sure, he remembered fighting against Mermista and taking her to the ship (it was _his_ fault she got Chipped) and bits from when they were camping with the Rebellion, times when he had more awareness about what his body was doing. Mermista had never asked straight out if he remembered anything from the ship, which he was glad for. He let her think he wandered the halls, Prime never speaking to him (which was a lie, but if he's not asked, he's not lying.)

"A lot of it, is flashes. But I fought harder against the chip when Mermista was near. And he...I was on the ship with Mermista, at least for a time." He's not sure if anyone else had known that bit. 

"I didn't know that." Scorpia says. "Does anyone know that? Wait, does that mean you might've talked to Hordak without knowing it?"

"I...doubt it. That would've meant talking to anyone else and it...he...that didn't happen." 

"Oh." Scorpia watches him for a minute. "What did happen?" Sea Hawk shakes his head. "Sea Hawk, buddy, you need to talk about this. And I'm here, I'll listen." 

Sea and Scorpia sit in silence as Sea Hawk debates telling her. Eventually, he breaks the silence. "After...after I.. after Mermista was brought onto the ship, we were separated. But after a bit, he...I met him in person. Did you realize he called everyone brother or sister?" Scorpia nods. "So, we were talking, or well, he was talking to me, at me, and he starts talking about how everyone has a place and how everyone can be useful. And…" Sea Hawk trails off as he slips back into the memory.

* * *

The forcefield to his ~~prison~~ room falls and his ~~guard~~ brother leads him to the throne room, Prime sitting on the throne. Sea Hawk kneels down until Prime greets him. "Brother, I do apologize for not greeting you when you arrived. It is hard, in a family as large as ours, to talk with everyone, you understand." Sea Hawk rises, nodding. "But I did want to quell a thought I'm sure you're having. There is room for everyone in under my rule, so long as they are useful. And I'm sure you will be very useful, right, brother?" 

"Yes, Lord Prime." Sea Hawk responds. 

He's lead back to his ~~prison~~ room. And he attempts to reach out to the buzzing of the others he can hear. 'What if not useful?' **_Stay useful. Stay useful, or gone._**

* * *

Sea Hawk shakes his head, coming out of the memory. "He tended to talk about how there's a place for me, if I was useful. And it... brought up old, old concerns and thoughts I used to have." 

"Ah. The stay useful or they won't care for you thoughts." Scorpia states. "I used to have them too. A lot." 

"I considered myself part of the Rebellion, but no one, besides my Mermista, really talked to me or hung out with me until I was needed for a mission."

"Yeah, they're not good at the whole, actual communication thing, are they?" 

"And I was useful to him, but I....At the beginning, I was used as incentive to keep Mermista in line and later, he used me to try to turn Mermista against the Princesses." Sea Hawk glances at Scorpia. "And of course, used me to take over villages. And when I was freed, the Rebellion used me to distract, fight against Mermista. They didn't free me because they liked me. They didn't even realize that I was Chipped!" He takes a breath. "They didn't realize." He repeats, quieter. "And I don't know how I can face them again, now that there's no real reason for them to talk to me. Am I just going to be someone they have to deal with, because I'm with Mermista?"

"But you're a cool guy! Maybe they didn't realize, I don't know, but could it just have been that they were preoccupied, overwhelmed with the fighting and stuff? And...if you don't want to talk to them, or deal with them, I'm your friend too, right? We had fun today." Scorpia had had a lot of fun with Sea Hawk, who didn't seem to hold her past or her body against her. And she really wanted more friends. Sea Hawk smiles, nodding.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that."


	13. Chapter 13

Mermista paces back and forth. "I don't understand. He should be back by now. What if he's hurt? What if he decided I didn't want him around anymore?" 

"Mermista. I'm sure that's not it." Spinnerella attempts to calm Mermista down. "You know we were planning on staying in Salineas for another day. So it's unlikely that they left. But if it makes you feel better, we can check the docks for his boat."

"Oh dear." Spinnerella says as they stand on the dock where The Dragons Daughter VIII is supposed to be. 

"He...he left? He actually left. I didn't want him to leave." Mermista sinks to her knees. "I just needed…"

"What you need to do is talk to Sea Hawk. Real talking, about things. But look." Spinnerella directs her attention. "There's a ship out there, heading in. He's comfortable on the water, he probably just took a small trip and lost track of time." 

"I...can't see the ship." Mermista admits, quietly. "Nearsighted." 

"Ah." Spinnerella doesn't point out that Mermista never wore glasses, or that no one knew. But that does explain some meetings. "There is a ship, and it looks like the Dragons Daughter VIII. So, Sea Hawk will be here soon."

Mermista nods, running a hand through her hair. "Ok, ok. Good. I'm... probably going to have to talk to him about this." 

"Yeah. Especially considering that…." _You almost had a panic attack_ , Spinnerella doesn't say. "It's better for you two to talk to each other." 

"I hate talking about feelings." Mermista mutters. She glances at Spinnerella, then away as she adds, "Thanks. For.. for listening. I hadn't realized much it was weighing on me." 

"I have something to tell you, too. Part of the reason I was so insistent on you talking, it's because I tried to hide from Netossa." Spinnerella admits. She doesn't want to add to Mermistas' problems, but she does want her to know. "And it gets worse if you hide." Spinnerella studies Mermista for a minute. "You know, you can call me anytime. I'll listen." Spinnerella wonders if she might be overstepping, but Mermista needs people other than Sea Hawk. 

Mermista glances at Spinnerella and smirks, raising an eyebrow. "Anytime, huh. So, even if you and Netossa have been flirting all day and we all know what's going to happen?" 

Spinnerella laughs. "Well, if I really can't answer, I'll send you a message. But yes. Anytime."

The ship docks and Mermista and Spinnerella blink in surprise as three tied men are thrown into the dock, Sea Hawk and Scorpia jumping off after. 

Mermista runs to Sea Hawk and hugs him, mumbling into his neck. Sea Hawk hugs back. "Sorry I was gone a bit longer than expected. These 3 tried to kidnap us." 

"But, gosh. You should have seen Sea Hawk. He was like, bam and whoosh and smash. Anyway, I'm running a little late for my date. Gotta go, see you later!" Scorpia runs off. She runs back. "Oh, yeah. Sea Hawk, you have my number, right? You can call anytime. Ok, bye." She runs off again.

"I actually have to go, too. Netossa and I have plans tonight. Do you need help dragging these people anywhere?" Mermista shakes her head, still clinging to Sea Hawk. "Ok. Sea Hawk, if you guys feel up to it later this month, let us know if you two are okay with a double date. Mermista, remember what I said. I'll see you guys later." Spinnerella leaves the docks, hoping they'll actually talk to each other. 

Sea Hawk watches Scorpia and Spinnerella leave, before he looks down at Mermista. "Misty?" 

She lifts her head, enough for him to understand what she says next. "I...I thought you had really left." 

"Oh, Misty." He leans down, kissing her head. "I was talking to Scorpia and I think we might need to sit down and talk with each other. But first, what should we do with these three?" 

Mermista looks at the men. **Just push them off the dock. No one will care.** _What, no. That's not_... **They tried to hurt yours. They deserve it**. "The guard will pick them up. Let's go back home. And...and talk, I guess." 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️⚠️⚠️ READ THIS FIRST ⚠️⚠️⚠️
> 
> This chapter shows the Princesses in a bit of a bad light, but while what they are doing is...not right, their intentions are technically good. 
> 
> This chapter shows a scene from when Mermista was on Primes' ship. It was not shown in Wawahi at all. The scene starts after the double line-break. Skipping this scene will not detract from the rest of the story.   
> If you skip this chapter, there will be a small summary before the next chapter.
> 
> TW/CW: References starvation, shackles, electricity, and asphyxiation/unable to breathe.

Glimmer groans as she wraps up another meeting. Mermista, Sea Hawk and Spinnerella missed this one. She expected Mermista to miss it, she hadn't attended any meetings since The War ended, but she was surprised at Spinnerella. Catching sight of Netossa, she made her way over. "Netossa! Is Spinnerella ok?" 

Netossa shrugs. "One of her bad days. I'm planning on heading back after this and I think we're just going to stay in and rest all day." 

"I hope she feels better soon. But I also wanted to ask, you guys just visited Salineas, right? Did Mermista seem ok?" 

"Glimmer! I have a social conundrum. And I need you to help!" Entrapta appears out of nowhere. Glimmer screams, teleporting away and back, and Netossa startles.

"Entrapta! Don't do that! What's the problem?" 

"Hordak and I have been scanning all the files on Primes' ship. It's faaaascinating, there's so much there. Information from the First Ones, from Krytis, from a planet called Domum." 

"Entrapta!" Glimmer interrupts. "The social conundrum?" 

"Oh, yes. While scanning, I found this file. It's labeled 'Princess'. Which I guess could apply to anyone who was Chipped, but there's a subset: 'Water'. I think it's about what happened to Mermista on his ship. And I do not know if it breaks any social rules to watch." 

Glimmer stares at the tech in Entraptas' hair-hand. It would break a lot of unspoken rules to watch it, but knowing would help them know how to act around Mermista. 

"Well…" Glimmer begins, before Bow interrupts.

"It does. It breaks all the rules. We can't watch, that's invading her privacy! And you know how much Mermista likes that." 

"Yeah, but she'll probably never tell us anything otherwise. What do you all think?" 

After a quick vote/argument, they end up deciding to watch. 

* * *

* * *

Mermista is shackled by her wrists to the wall, her arms pulled up and back. She's leaning forward, hair falling around her face and she's breathing heavily. Her armor looks like it's falling off her frame. Prime enters and Mermista glares at him. "The others will rescue me soon. And when they do, I'm going to kick your butt."

"Ah. Still some fire left. We will fix that." 

"It doesn't matter what you do, we'll...ahhh" Mermista screams as electricity races through her body. She arches, muscles contracting, as Glimmers' voice seems to echo around her. 'She's strong, she can handle it'. 

Eventually, the electricity seems to stop, as Mermista drops, gasping for breath. "Come now, Princess. Is the Queen lying? Are you unable to handle this? Maybe that's why they haven't rescued you yet." Prime taunts her. "When you join me, you'll be able to show them exactly how strong you are."

"As...as if I'd ever...ever join you." Mermista gasps out. "Anyways, they're coming."

"We'll change your mind soon. And are you sure about that?" Prime sounds amused. 

Glimmers' voice starts again as Mermista starts gasping for air. Prime starts talking. "They're not coming for you. If they cared for you, they would have already rescued you. Instead, they've left you. Join me and you won't be left behind again."

"I...I said...said no." Mermista snaps, panting, before her eyes close.

* * *

* * *

The file ends and everyone is sitting there, feeling various levels of horror. Frosta is the first to break the silence. "Her armor. It was loose. Was he not feeding her?" 

Bow shakes his head. "She looked better when she appeared at the camp. Her armor still fit. So, maybe after she got Chipped, he needed her at full strength?" 

"How...how'd she survive? That looked...did she go through that the whole time?" 

"There wasn't anything around her neck. Why was she gasping for air?" 

"While in the Fright Zone, I assembled something to remove oxygen from the atmosphere. It is reasonable that...that he read my mind and updated it for his own uses." Hordak speaks up. 

"My voice. My voice was playing the whole time. That's why…" Glimmer trails off, then laughs bitterly. "No wonder she doesn't want to come to Bright Moon. She thinks we...I abandoned her on purpose."

"Bow was right. We shouldn't have watched."


	15. Chapter 15

"I..I thought you had left. Like, truly, actually left." Mermista admits, quietly, once they're settled back at the castle.

"Misty. I've told you before, I'm never leaving you." 

"Yeah, but...I'd broken, like, the one rule you've _ever_ insisted on. And it... wouldn't have surprised me if you had..."

"No. Stop that. I'm not leaving you, just because you said you wanted space. I know you like alone time, that's not wrong. You speaking up, because you needed alone time, was...probably necessary. I want you to tell me stuff. And you know I...I do need other people. I love you, Misty, but I'm going to go crazy if I stay home any longer." 

"Crazier than usual?" Mermista teases, gently. "No, I know. But I'm not...not sure...I almost had a panic attack while you were gone." 

"Yeah, we should probably set something up so that doesn't happen….what if we do check-ins, at least until we feel comfortable apart? And we can start small, just... being in different rooms." 

"That...that might work. Spinnerella said she and Netossa did something similar." 

They sit in silence for a minute, neither willing to bring up the next topic, but eventually, Sea Hawk asks, "Why...why did you almost break the rule? It…" 

Mermista shakes her head. "I hadn't meant to, I...you know I haven't been using my powers. Part of it is...I am freezing, panicking when I go to use them, all I can see is just attacking you. I'm not sure why that happened this morning." She frowns down at her hands.

"Oh, so it wasn't because I was annoying you. That's...that makes me feel better." 

Mermista frowns at him. "I'm not going to attack you for disagreeing with me, or if I get angry with you. Where'd you get that idea?" She pauses. "Is this because I used to do it during our play and banter? I thought you were ok with that." 

"And I am!...I was. Part of it was...all I could think about was you…" _Being Chipped again_ , he doesn't say. "And...Prime..he..I haven't been entirely honest with you, Mermista." Sea Hawk avoids her gaze. 

"What'd he tell you?" 

"He would sometimes talk about how, how you'd attack me if I annoyed you. And..I... know I was used as incentive to keep you in line, but...he'd bring me from the cell, and talk about how everyone had a place as long as they were useful. He also tended to allude to what would happen if I..if I wasn't useful." Sea Hawk shifts in his seat, drumming his fingers in his leg. 

"Is that why you've been guarding the door during the night? Wait, cell? Sea Hawk." 

"Like I said this morning, I like protecting you, Mermista! It helps me feel useful, needed, and...I...you...you ended up on the ship because of me. So, it's a... A type of redeeming thing." 

Mermista studies Sea Hawk. "You know I don't blame you for it, right? Like, it might've been your body, but it wasn't _you_." 

Sea Hawk shrugs. "Hard to remember, sometimes. But it's, it makes me feel better, if I have a purpose. Helps drown him out, kinda." 

"A job. Would that help? Besides protecting me, if we're going to try to do this 'go longer than an hour without going crazy if we don't see each other' thing." 

"Maybe. But later, after." 

"Sure. Ok, serious stuff done. You enjoy the day with Scorpia?" 

"Ah, yes. It was a marvelous Adventure, starting off with us serenading Seaworthy!" Sea Hawk tells his tale, Mermista curling up by his side. 


	16. Chapter 16

The men are taken, seperated and questioned extensively. Mermista stays out of it, she has to. She leaves everything to her general. When they ask her, she tells them, "They tried to kidnap my…" She pauses, realizing that she doesn't know what to call Sea Hawk. He loves her, he's said it a couple of times, and she's said it back once, and she knows he calls the castle home. But she doesn't know, they haven't actually talked about their relationship. "They kidnapped Sea Hawk and Scorpia. No matter what, people would say that I'm being too hard, because I know them. So, I need to stay out of it." Which isn't a lie, Mermista has to stay out of it, so there's no claim of favoritism. Mermista doesn't speak of the other reason. **They're no-ones. Who'd care? Hurt them, like they hurt yours.**

Mermista tells her general to choose a fair punishment, but not to let her know. She's probably coming across as weird, but she's not sure she wants to take the chance. _What if she listens to the voice?_

She turns her attention to figuring out a plan with Sea Hawk. They know, now, that going hours with no contact caused Mermista to have a panic attack, so they decide to start small. And they test it, Sea Hawk being in her (their?) room for 30 minutes, while Mermista works. Hopefully, she'll be too distracted to panic, it had worked when she was younger. 

Sea Hawk attempts to nap during it, but ends up pacing the room. He keeps himself from bursting out of the room, barely. But when the time's up, he runs to Mermista, scooping her up in a hug. "I...last time, I distracted myself. I'm going to need something to do, or someone else to distract me. Otherwise...I'm...I kept imagining you hurt. I know you can protect yourself, I know that Misty, but…" Sea Hawk trails off, letting her go and backing away. 

Mermista nods. "We probably should have realized that. Ok, so we both need distractions and maybe, we can do a halfway check? Cuz...I had problems too." The thoughts about him leaving, for real, had still plagued her mind, even though she _knew_ he was just a few rooms down.

They wait another couple of days before trying again. This time, while Mermista works on stuff in her office, groaning about the work, she'd thought it would have slowed down by now, Sea Hawk asks if Scorpia would be willing to do a video call with him. She agrees, and they try. Mermista pokes her head in, halfway through, just to check up on him. It works, really well, and they continue, increasing up to hour increments, with either an in-person check-in or a message sent through the touchpad. 

Mermista gets a call from Netossa and answers. "Hey. How's everything going?" 

"Pretty good. Spinny is having a bit of a bad day, the pain," Netossa normally wouldn't say anything, but Spinnerella had told her to be honest with Mermista about it, "but she says she'll be better soon. We're planning on taking a trip to Salineas again in a few weeks. Wanted to see if you'd be available for a lunch or dinner?" 

Mermista shrugs. "Yeah, why not?" 

Netossa hesitates, then asks, "Have you heard from Bright Moon lately? Or any of the other kingdoms?" 

Mermista shakes her head. "Glitter was calling constantly, but she hasn't called for a couple of days." She ignores the hurt: she doesn't want to talk to Glimmer. "And none of the others had really ever called. Although Sea Hawk talks to Scorpia. Why?" She squints at Netossa. 

"No reason, just curious. Gotta go, talk to you later." Netossa hangs up. Mermista stares at the touchpad for a minute. **She's hiding something. Lying to you.**


	17. Chapter 17

Mermista and Sea Hawk settle into a pattern. Sea Hawk still guards the door during the night, but as Mermista wakes up, he's able to leave the room. Most days, they eat breakfast together to set up check-in times, then Sea Hawk either heads back to the room to sleep or message Scorpia.

Eventually, Mermista asks Sea Hawk a question. "Hey, we're opening the harbor up to others now. You willing to be a harbor master?" 

"Harbor master?" 

"Yeah, it's basically making sure that ships can dock safely, making sure the port runs smooth. Thought it'd.."

"It'll help me?" Sea Hawk asks. "You didn't...just make the job up, did you?" 

Mermista shakes her head. "You think I'd make up a job?" Sea Hawk raises an eyebrow. "I actually do need someone at the port. The kingdom is doing better, I'm hoping the port will be busy." 

Sea Hawk nods.

They decide to head to the pool that night. Sea Hawk jumps into the pool as Mermista sits on the side, her legs transforming. (She's nervous, why is she nervous, it's Sea Hawk.)

Sea Hawk swims over to her, running his hand, gently, down her bright teal tail. He pauses at the scar crossing her tail, and glancing up at her, runs his thumb gently over it. (Mermista hides her flinch. _Wait, why is she flinching_.) He leans down, brushing his lips over it, then lets go. 

Mermista smirks, letting her tail flop down, splashing Sea Hawk. She lets out a startled laugh as he grins and pulls her into the pool entirely. She retaliates by dunking him under the water and they pass the time playing. 

Mermista reaches out to Spinnerella that night, wanting to check on her. "Hey, Spinnerella. How've you been doing?"

"Better. Much better. I'm glad you reached out, Mermista. How have you been?" Spinnerella asks, studying Mermista. She notes that Mermista does look better, happier. 

"Much better. The kingdom is doing better, most all of my people have come back. Sea Hawk and I can be in separate rooms with little panicking now." Mermista pauses, but...there's no reason not to tell her. "Nightmares still happen, but they're down to only a few times a week."

"That sounds great!" Netossa appears behind Spinnerella. "Hey, aren't some of the clones in your kingdom now?" 

Mermista shrugs. "Yeah, well." **Need to take care of our brothers**. "Not many, they're on an island a little aways. But I guess they needed a place. I... wanted to…" Mermista glances away, runs a hand through her hair, then looks back. "When you guys come, I... know you like alone time, but. The castle is big. Like, really big. And it's just us for now." Mermista shrugs again. "I just..it's..you know. Guaranteed room and all." 

"Thank you, Mermista." Spinnerella and Netossa exchange a look. "We might take you up on that."

"Cool. Oh, Netossa. I wanted to ask, do you know why Glimmer isn't calling me anymore?"

"Sorry, I think dinner is burning. See you later, Mermista!" Netossa walks quickly out of view, Spinnerella staring after her. 

"Spinnerella?" Mermista asks.

Spinnerella shakes her head. "No clue, but I'll see if I can find out." The call ends, Mermista blinking at the dark screen. _**She's definitely hiding something from us.**_

Mermista glances at the touchpad, then away. She groans, running a hand through her hair. _Why hasn't Glimmer called? She used to call constantly. Why'd she stop?_ **Because she doesn't care about you.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a streak of posting almost every day for the past week or so. Not sure that'll continue going on. 
> 
> Happy holidays!


	18. Chapter 18

Spinnerella follows Netossa into the kitchen. "Darling, what was that?" 

Netossa gets the food out from the oven, setting it on the counter and turns around, leaning against it. "We...did something stupid at the last meeting." Netossa admits. "I...we shouldn't have done it, I know that now."

Spinnerella hugs her. "It can't be that bad, can it?" 

Netossa shakes her head. "Entrapta found this memory stick on Primes' ship, seems she's been looking at information on it. And the memory stick was about Mermista…. and what she went through on the ship." 

"And you watched it?"

"It was put to vote. But we did watch one of the files and, well. It was bad." Netossa admits. "Really bad. And I'm betting Glimmer isn't calling because of what we saw."

"Which is...hmmm. Not good." Spinnerella hadn't told Netossa about anything Mermista had said, past that she'd gone through bad stuff. "This is going to be tricky, then. Do you know where the memory stick is now?" 

Netossa shrugs. "Last I saw of it, it was on the table. Didn't pay attention to it otherwise." Netossa hesitates. "I know you said she told you what she went through was bad, but... understatement, Spinny. A massive understatement."

* * *

Sea Hawk is good at being a Harbor Master. He hadn't been sure he could do it, but he realizes quickly, he's able to set up a good system, directing the ships and making sure they're able to dock safely. He's glad he's doing something, it distracts him. He's still uneasy about leaving Misty, but she was right, she always is. He breathes in the salt air, the wind ruffling his hair and feels relaxed. _I need to contact Mermista._ He gets out the touchpad, and a movement out of the corner of his eye distracts him.

His eyes narrow as he sees someone near the building they'd decided to make an information center. It wasn't open quite yet, they still needed to see if it was safe for people. He stalks towards the building, hand hovering over his sword. Making his way inside, he scans the room and, not seeing anything out of place and unable to figure out where the man went, he turns to leave. 

Sea Hawk dodges the hit, drawing his sword out and swinging it, just missing his opponent. They fight, fiercely, Sea Hawk on the attack, winning, until a second opponent appears. They fight, Sea Hawk still winning, until two more people appear. Sea Hawk falls onto the defensive, switching from trying to win to trying to escape. 

Mermista sends a message to Scorpia, asking if she's available for a call. She knows Scorpia and Sea Hawk are getting close, which she's fine with. But she thinks it's a good idea to try to be friends with her too. _Plus, it's not like I can separate from the other kingdoms entirely_ , Mermista thinks. **Not separate, take over.** She talks with Scorpia, although she's not sure of the whole conversation, she's distracted. Sea Hawk has missed his check-in, but _it's fine. He's busy. I knew this might happen._ Scorpia wraps up the conversation and Mermista hangs up. _Wait, did I just agree to a double date? I'm never going to live this down._

Mermista continues to distract herself, sending off a message to Frosta, as she remembers Frosta stating that she wanted to do stuff with her. The message isn't much, just an invitation to hang out sometime. She checks her messages again, no word from Sea Hawk. _It's fine, it's fine._


	19. Chapter 19

Sea Hawk groans as he opens his eyes. This is getting annoying. He glances around, noticing that the people he had fought were watching him. "Gentlemen! I fear we may have gotten off on the wrong foot." He tries to stand up and the men laugh. Looking down, he lets out a small groan. "What is with everyone wanting to tie me up? And really, don't you think this is a bit too much?" His ankles are tied to the legs of the chair, and there's more rope tied around his knees and his chest. His wrists are tied behind him, behind the chair back. He tries to struggle, but is unable to move. "I'm sure we can just talk this out, like reasonable people, right? Or we can…." His words turn into muffled grunts as one of the men shoves a cloth into his mouth, then ties another one around his mouth. _Mermista! Did I miss our check-in? I hope she's not panicking._ Sea Hawk struggles again, trying to break the ropes, as the men disappear from his sight. 

Mermista paces the floor. He still hasn't called or messaged. I'm going to the docks to find him. She strides out of the castle. 

Arriving at the docks, she asks around for Sea Hawk, getting the same answer back. "Saw him awhile ago, not sure where he is now." She's about to give up and head back to the castle when she hears a crunch. Looking down, she sees that she's stepping on Sea Hawks' touchpad--she'd recognize the bright purple color anywhere. Picking it up, Mermista looks around again and sees his signature red bandana. She bends, picking it up, and looks around again. 

She takes a deep breath--maybe she can smell his cologne?--and smells smoke. She freezes, for a second, then, remembering Sea Hawks' instructions, checking that it's safe to enter the building. 

Mermista steps in and freezes. Sea Hawk, tied to a chair, surrounded by fire and smoke. She blinks and the image flickers--the jagged white walls surrounding them transform into the smooth white walls of Primes' ship. She's trapped again, unable to do anything as…. Mermista blinks again and she's back in the Information Office. The flames are getting closer to Sea Hawk, too close, but...she can't use her powers, the Pearl hasn't been listening to her. _How can I save him_? 

Her body moves, Calling up a wave of water. **We will save ours**. The water comes over the dock, crashing into the office. _Careful of the people on the docks_. **Saving ours**. _They're ours too!_

"Hold your breath." Mermista hears herself warn Sea Hawk. The water rushes into the room, putting the flames out. Mermista swims over to Sea Hawk, attempting to untie him. The water rushes out of the building, dragging Sea Hawk out, and Mermista grabs onto the chair. They end up on the docks and Mermista finishes untying Sea Hawk, leaving the gag for last. 

"Mi...Misty!" Sea Hawk chokes out. "I am so sorry that I missed our check-in! Are you ok?" 

Mermista shakes her head. "I wasn't the one in danger, idiot." She starts slapping his chest. "This." Slap. "Can't." Slap. "Keep." Slap. "Happening." She slumps onto him.

"Hey, it's not like I asked to be kidnapped! Well, not these last two times. But, didn't you realize? You used your powers! You connected to the Pearl again!" 

**Had to save ours**. "I did. But people are going to think Salineas isn't safe to visit if my…." Mermista pauses. 

"Your…?" Sea Hawk wonders if she'll say it. He's always considered himself hers, in whatever way she needed, but he's hoped that Mermista would officially say it. 

"If you keep getting kidnapped." Mermista decides on. **He's ours, why are we not telling him**?


	20. Chapter 20

Mermista sends out an order, telling her guard to find anyone connected with the kidnapping. "We have to make sure Salineas is safe, or everyone will leave again." Mermista tells her general. "We want everyone to be safe here. We need to protect our citizens."

"Stop getting kidnapped." Mermista tells Sea Hawk. "I lov..lo..like, you do a good job as the Harbor Master, I don't want to find another one."

"I will do my utmost best, Misty!" Sea Hawk grins. She'd almost said it again. 

That night, Sea Hawk goes to sit in his chair and Mermista grabs his wrist, tugging him gently to the bed. "The bed's more comfortable." She avoids his eyes. "We can leave the chair there, if anyone tries to open the door, we'll hear." 

Sea Hawk smiles. "Of course, dear." They snuggle up, Mermista laying her head on his chest. Hopefully, his heartbeat will keep the nightmares away tonight.

"I'm..I was scared, Sea Hawk. I'm glad you're okay." Mermista whispers. "I don't want you to go. Ever." **We love you**. 

_Mermista is standing in darkness. She's surprised, she'd thought it was going to be another Prime ship nightmare, or one about what Sea Hawk went through._

_" **Hello, Princess Mermista.** " A voice echoed from the void. " **How is Sea Hawk?** " _

_"Who's there?" Mermista drops into a fighting stance._

_**"Relax, Princess. I won't harm you."** A shape steps out, forming into a second Mermista, her eyes green._

_"No!" Mermista gasps. "No." She shakes her head._

**_"Relax, Princess Mermista."_ **

_"You...Adora did...some type of magic and got rid of Prime." She whispers. "You can't exist anymore."_

**_"True, Adora did do magic. And true, Adora did get rid of Prime, which we are thankful for. But we are not Prime. We were never Prime. You didn't answer the question."_ **

_"But...you're the Voice. Who are you, if not Prime?"_

_**"Before we...the word is bonded? Bonded with Prime, we were helpers. Protectors. Defenders, if need be.** " _

_"But...I don't understand." Who is she talking to? "Aren't you just the part I'm trying to ignore? You're the Voice, you sound almost like Prime!"_

_" **Yes, we've been trying to fix that. Hard, when you're bonded for millennia**." The other Mermista sounds annoyed. " **And you should stop ignoring us. We're trying to help you! We helped you today**."_

_"What, no you didn't." Mermista shakes her head._

_" **You haven't used your powers once. Until we helped you. We protected Sea Hawk. Why won't you tell him**?" Other Mermista cocks her head. " **You love him**." _

_Mermista looks away. "Saying it won't change anything."_

_" **Deflection. You should tell him**." Other Mermista watches her. " **He hasn't left. You think telling him will change that?"**_

_"You never answered my question. Who are you?"_

_" **Friends. We want to help you, Princess Mermista**." _

Mermistas' eyes open and she looks around. Something feels off, but she looks up at Sea Hawk, and smiles at him. Breathing in his scent, she snuggles into him, relaxing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another book, but Kintsugi is done for now. The next one might take a bit longer to come out.


End file.
